This article is the afterthoughts from the article written by RGV in his blog called “Work”. This article is also a follow-up of the article i’ve written in my blog called “State of Mind”.
PREMISE:
Society, Education, Responsibilities, Status, Security, Future and Money. These are the words that poison my soul to death. I realized i’m an artist when i’m 27. That’s one of the saddest things that has happened to me. By artist, i mean free spirited, living by the rules of nature and nature alone, desire to make a living by doing things that i want to do, and lastly, dreaming is in my “to do list”.
STORY:
From my childhood, i used to question my average skills in studies. This is hugely because i was born in a third world country with a billion people struggling to survive. The only way out of the gutter was to get ur education. If your poor in studies you’d be a loser, if your’re average you gone end up as middle class and if you excel you’d become rich. This was and is the general norm in the indian society. In this jungle, with animals of all kinds competing for survival, i was the reserved, sensitive, emotional and average soul going around not knowing what the heck was going on. I was put into institutions which preached this philosophy and punished for being average. I’m not saying education ruined me, that is what bought me here so i don’t question it. I just wanted to do more than just education.
Art was not even an afterthought those days. Today, when i have the chance to pursue my dreams, society comes up with those words i mentioned, binding my soul from doing what i came to this world to do. Recently, i went out for dinner with some of my friends. So, one of my friend asked me “What are your dreams?”, so i told him this,
“Everyday, from the moment i wake up till i go back to sleep, i want to do what i want to do, be it making movies or music”. For this he asked me something like “are your wife and kids anywhere in the picture”. He was implying that, you have to takecare of ur kids first and then u can do whatever you want.
This made me reminded of my dad saying the same exact thing when i was in my high school.
FLASHBACK:
I sucked bad at math and the night before the math exam, i gave up and told him i don’t want this, i don’t want to study, i don’t see the purpose and i cant learn anything without knowing where i can apply it, for that he said coolly “Will you do ITTC or some course?”, so i asked curiously, what’s that course abt and he said “they will teach you minimum skills to do certain things, and then you can put up your own cycle repair shop”. It was like a freaking slap on my face, and so, after my emotional outburst he told me “try to do your education, get a job, and after you settle down, u can pursue whatever you like”.
Now, i did what was asked, but, there is society telling me of my new responsibilities. I should really thank god for giving me a wife that understands me as a person and as an artist. A wife ready to take up responsibilities to facilitate my struggle to reach higher. OK! so what’s the catch.
CLIMAX:
Dreaming is easy, having the courage to pursue them is tough. Though my wife is ready for the plunge i’m not. You know why? Coz , i’ve been programmed by society not to give up responsibilites.
As i said in the STORY, society has bound my soul with the terms from PREMISE, to make CLIMAX my reality putting these inhibitions in my confused mind.
Hope i can gather enough courage to make the final plunge.
END:
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